SHit…I just realized in reading my last post that I still have not called my attorney!! I have got to get that done. Court is currently scheduled for the 18th of this month…better get busy on that. Court isn’t really what I wanted to post about tonite. Not really sure what I want to say. Funny how during the day, while I am sitting in traffic…my mind wanders and all these different subjects arise. I tell myself “I need to put that in my journal” then….life happens and I forget what inspiring thoughts were going through my mind.
Some of the thoughts are of my interactions with others, either through direct contact or just a glance that has many meanings… Ever notice that you can communicate with another human that you have never met before without saying a single word….the other day I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for my daily coffee and this man in line ahead of me was being nothing short of an asshole to the counter clerk. Her eyes met mine for just a split second and somehow we silently communicated our distaste for this man.
Today it snowed, just a little…but just enough to cover the trees and the power lines and the grass and roofs…. It was very pretty. I find that I don’t often enough take the time to observe my surroundings.
It’s been two weeks since I last went to the gym….I am very disappointed in myself but at the same time I am finding it difficult to find the incentive to go?? I know that working out is good for my body and I always feel better after I go, but still I can’t seem to find “it” in me to get there. I don’t know what “it” is, or why some people have “it” and I don’t. I would really like to find “it”. Maybe I’ll put up a lost ad on Craigslist and see if anyone has found my “it”….hey, it might work??
Work sucks…I’m finding myself bored, lonely and “friend-sick”. Yep, “friend-sick”!! I can’t say that I am home-sick as I really don’t miss home…I don’t even know where I really consider “home”. But I do know that I am sorely missing the familiarity of my friends…the ability to call anytime of the day and go for coffee because I can’t sleep, or have someone to “set me straight’ on what-ever drama is going on in my life, or someone to bitch to about work, oh…..I could go on forever but anyway I AM FRIENDSICK!!!
I am counting the days left here. I am so very ready to experience some-place new. Yet, at the same time I am finding it difficult to narrow down my options and settle on something. There are multiple possibilities for my next assignment and I just can’t seem to prioritize. I don’t know what is standing in the way…change is good…and I am looking forward to change….omg, it just hit me…I am afraid that I am going to make a “bad” decision!!! Well, that’s just no excuse at all!! Even if I choose a place/job that I don’t like, it isn’t as if I am going to be there forever…it’s only 13 weeks!!! Ok, now I can do this. Alaska is an option although I dont know anything about the hours/pay yet. Travel will be expensive…so maybe this isn’t a good choice considering that I may be going to court sometime in the next 13 weeks?? South Carolina is another choice but the pay SUCKS, and it puts Corey into a “southern” school (no offense to you southern folks…I love you…but Corey just doesn’t do good with the southern schools…he is too much of a non-conformist). Another option is California…the job would be home health and would not give me an opportunity to get any hospital work on my off days unless I wanted to work 7 days a week~which I don’t. So…those are my options for now and I think I have just talked myself out of all of them…NOW WHAT???
Enough of this bull for tonite. I dont know if I feel better or worse??