This week is very special for me. I am privilaged to be able to share my love of travel and new places with someone very close to my heart….my nephew, Trae. Trae is 9 years old and lives in the same area that I grew up in, in the mid-west. It has a very small-town feel to it and people that live there, tend to stay in the area. I’m certainly the oddity when it comes to leaving. I’ve gotten accoustomed to being the odd man (or woman as it may be) out.
It’s been a joy to be able to share all of the new experiences with my nephew. The excitement in his voice while waiting for the train to bring him to thto the e ‘city’ was palpable. It gave me the same excitement just hearing him. The look on his face when he saw his first sky-scraper was priceless. I’m enjoying every minute of sharing the city with him.
I feel very lucky that I am able to travel and I try to share my love of travel with others in my life. My Mom and step-dad have been able to travel to see me in many new places, my daughter has more ‘air’ time than most adults that I know, my Son traveled with me for a while before he decided to plant himself for the time being.
In addition to family, I can now add my nephew to the (hopefully) ever growing list of those that have been exposed to the world of travel. Several of my kids’ friends have joined us on adventures over the years and each one of those times was special to me. I loved being able to share my love with them and hopefully open their eyes to the fact that there is a big world out there to be explored.
Through all the joy….there is always a downside. One that I have been able to hide away, locked up; like a monster in the closet… somewhere in the back of my mind. It surfaces once in a while but I continue to push it back and try to forget that it’s there. This holiday season…the monster came for my daughter and hit me harder than ever.
What is my Monster?
It’s the fear and the reality of being left out, forgotten, overlooked. How-ever you want to look at it; it’s the time when those that should be close and concerned ie family and good friends forget or neglect to think of you. Forget to invite you to the holiday dinner….your usually gone anyway. Overlook the thought that you might be available….even though you usually aren’t. Leave you out of the festivities and events….because they are certain that your celebrating with someone else.
I can deal with MY monster. I’ve learned to make my own happiness. When my monster rears it’s ugly head, I can put it back in the closet with all the fond memories and experiences that my lifestyle has allowed me. It still hurts; but I can deal with it.
But now….? Now, my Monster and I have an issue….and i don’t know how to tame it. I can’t push it back into the closet with MY memories…it isn’t after me this time.
How do I tame a monster when it isn’t attacking me?